Top Five Worthless Dragons

Say what? Worthless Dragons? Pfft

So if you’re like a lot of fantasy fans you’re reading the headline and thinking “what the hell, dragons are awesome. No dragon is worthless!” And normally I would agree with you, but there are some dragons that I think take the cake as far as pretty worthless to have around.

balloon dragon

BALLOON DRAGON. Sooo, these are dragons that are filled with gas and are lighter than air. Apparently they can deflate anytime they want (and one wonders what THAT smells like). They also have a gas bladder they can use to maneuver around. These ultimate crop dusters seem to use their flatulents in a way that I can only admire. But I have to wonder how they learn to control their momentum. Much like a baby bird fresh out of the nest, these bad boys must go pinging all around the forest before they get a grasp on their fart thrusters.

flamingo wyvern

FLAMINGO WYVERN. Some people might not think of wyverns as a kind of dragon, but I do. They are, after all, of the dragon family. Here we find the flamingo wyvern, and the reason it’s made the list is (besides eating algae) the only thing I imagine they do is stand up in people’s gardens on one leg. They look much like flamingos do, and they even tend to live in the same places as flamingos.

pillow dragon

PILLOW DRAGONS. These sound like the perfect dragons for the people on the go who don’t have a lot of time to spend on training a dragon and giving it the attention it needs. Pillow dragons sleep for up to 18 hours a day and wake in short bursts. Though they are fat (covered in fur called fluff) their small wings can still carry them because they are really light. So, that’;s good. I guess if it’s napping on your bed and you want to sleep, at least you can move it. In the Dragon Cave game, apparently these dragons are used to skin and make nice fluffy clothing. Don’t name it.

seawyrm pygmy

SEAWYRM PYGMY. When I think of small dragons I automatically think useless. Even if they can breath fire they are probably only good enough to use as a substitute for a match. These seawyrm pygmies seem little better than fish. Mostly they dance along the water and have a pretty mating ritual, other than that? Worthless.

vine dragon

VINE DRAGONS. These dragons are really violent and will kill and eat anything they can capture. For that reason alone I think they would make a pretty useless pet. Why would you want a pet that is going to kill you if it catches you? But don’t worry, they look just like a plant, and they act like a plant too, burrowing in the ground and using their vines to feed. So, I guess they’d be okay if you didn’t get too close to their burrow?

These Dragons are part of an online adoptables game called Dragon Cave. Surprisingly there wasn’t a lot of information on different kinds of dragons out there with enough information for me to make a decision of their usefulness. That being said, I’m sure this game is a huge hit and if I liked dragons more I might even play it!

Obviously it must be hard to be one of the cool dragons. I mean, it’s hard to beat a fire breather, or a dragon who can call storms. What dragons do you think are pretty worthless? I would love to hear more in the comments below!

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