Fantasy Movie Review: The Hobbit The Battle of the Five Armies

The Hobbit The Battle of the Five Armies

smaug1So, if you haven’t watched the latest hobbit movie, there might be some spoilers in here for you. I will try to keep them minimal. All in all, I think The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies was a pretty awesome movie. I enjoyed the storyline, and I enjoyed the final show down with Smaug. Given all of the awesomeness, there were some things that were a little strange to me.

So, I get that The Hobbit was originally a kids book, but through the series there were a lot of really unrealistic things that happened. I know, you’re thinking “come on, there were dragons and elves and orcs, and you’re complaining about things not seeming realistic enough?” Yes, that’s exactly what’s happening here. I do like my fantasy to still be realistic. A ton of little fat men bobbing down a river in beer barrels fighting is a little unrealistic. An elf running up blocks that are tumbling off a building, propelling himself further up when there’s nothing to support his weight is unrealistic. It was cool, but some of those unrealistic scenes seemed more magical than all the magic we saw Gandalf use in the Lord of the Rings movies.


And what was going on with Galadriel? I don’t understand how sometimes she gets all hag looking and gets kick ass. I mean, I’m sure there is a reason for it, but I’m lost on that. If someone could tell me what was going on there, I’d love to know. She’s awesome!

Why didn’t they kill Alfrid? That seemed really childish to me. You let him run away all cross-dressed and all you say is “your slip’s showing?”


And Thorin. REALLY? Letting the orc sink into the water is so stupid. What did you REALLY think was going to happen? I could have told you precisely what was going to happen as soon as you did that. This is a creature that’s grafted a freaking SWORD onto the stump of his arm. He’s been through so much shit and hasn’t died, and you think letting him sink into the water is going to work? Newsflash(!) that ball and chain wasn’t even attached to him! He could have just let go!

At any rate, I really did like the movie. I give it four stars. What did you think of the movie? I’d love to hear your input below!

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